I’m reminded in the crappiest of times that God Hates Figs (for they are disgusting) and that the universe will take every opportunity to swiftly plant it’s foot right in your bollocks.nThis morning I got it, courtesy of Tesco. I was enjoying my day, perhaps too much one could argue.nI ventured in to the local Tesco Metro to purchase some items (as you do) but found a problematic self checkout that may have become self-aware.