I probably have written a bunch of people this story at this point, then I completely forgot to write it here.

I’ve had a bit of things happen in the old life, so I’ve kind of been staring at a screen blankly for a while. Got a bit of a kick this week and I need to remember what’s important (and this glorious text archive is the fruit of that labour).

Anyways, we begin the story :

A couple weeks back Samy and Jarod were spending a lot of time near the end of the garden, camping out in front of the planter box that I quite frankly never got around to do anything with (and the weeds appeciate this).

Thought they might have just been captured by some of the dead leaves getting moved with the breeze every so often or getting some of the sounds from the restaurant kitchen.

I thought nothing of it after the 2nd day, until of course the third came a long.

That is the day I found out exactly what these shits were up to, it seems something was in fact under there, Jarod got Samy to harass it enough to do a runner and oh boy, that street cat is a highly trained assassin.

Didn’t even hear a sound, but it went down, Samy had pushed a rat out of there. He of course thought he was playing a game, he’s not very good at rat hunting it seems, Jarod of course had other plans. Jarod fucked that rat up on the spot, caught it, broke it’s neck, paraded around with it, came in to the house where I see my cat and this fuck off big rat in his mouth.

While I’m trying to get this prick to go back outside, because I naïevely thought that these two really just kept it around to chase and torment for a while, and this rat cunt was going to run havok through the house.

Jarod perplexed, went outside, I closed them both out there while I figured out what to do. Jarod flomped it on the floor, Samy sat in a corner clearly traumatised by this. Under this gaze of « whatever did just occur » Jarod starts freaking out, hopping about, swatting it, having a rather good time. That rat however, not having a great time.

I eventually find a box, shuffle it in, and move it outside of the terrasse. I appreciate that Jarod did what a professional company struggled to do, but this is of course a living creature (well not so much any more). I thought it might have been stunned so I left it alone to give it the opportunity to take off if that was the case, but honestly, I think it was more to have a peaceful death rather than it’s last moments being a play thing.

Gave it about ten minutes, the rat passed on to the other plain, and I buried it as it would have loved to live its life to the fullest, by dropping it in the bin. The unobtainable wealth of delightful bio-GMO-free pasta at the bottom.

Jarod of course spent the next hour following the rat scent through his tracks outside and in the house, eventually it had gone, and the boys went back to their spots to wait for the next one.

The next one wouldn’t come you see, rats aren’t fucking stupid, and now I no longer have a rat issue. Can’t say the same for the upstairs neighbour, cos that’s where the fuckers took off to.